Inspiration & Paradox 79: Who is cleverer? A great charismatic leader or his follower?

A story was told of two great historical leaders:

"William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli were two of the fiercest political rivals of the 19th century. Their epic battles for control of the British Empire were marked by intense animosity that spilled over from the public arena into their personal lives. Ambitious, powerful, and politically astute, both men were spirited competitors and masterful politicians.

Though each man achieved impressive accomplishments for Britain, the quality that separated them as leaders was their approach to people. The difference is best illustrated by the account of a young woman who dined with the men on consecutive nights. When asked about her impression of the rival statesmen, she said, "When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England." "

Inspiration & Paradox 78: “Don’t just do something, sit there”

A book entitled “Don’t just do something, sit there” caught my attention last week while I was browsing through some self-help books. The author, Richard Eyre challenges the wisdom of the ages and old clichés, and argues for a place for new maxims to inspire thoughts and establish liberating, energising attitudes towards life.

“If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing well.” versus “If a thing is just barely worth doing, then just barely do it.”

“Never put off until tomorrow that which you can do today.” versus “Always put off a put-off-able in favour of a now-or-never.”

“Get serious.” versus “The reason angels can fly is that take themselves lightly.”

Such principles bring to memory the Martha and Mary story in the Bible.

“Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:38-42).

The conflict between a hard worker, a doer “Martha” and “Mary” a dreamer, who rather sits and listens ignoring the work there is to be done, points to something much more to life than organising, working and worrying. It teaches that the world will not come to an end if we would sit still for a few moments, to be re-charged and renew our passion for life and work, to listen and connect to someone dear and important.

Don't Just Do Something, Sit There!

Inspiration & Paradox 77: Skills of Obtaining Power Deteriorate Once Power is Attained

Have you come across “tyrannical” leaders whom you find hard to respect and wondered how they get to the place where they are? Perhaps we can find the answer in the paradox of power.

While we know that power can be attained by coercion, deception and manipulation, we also believe that power is wielded most effectively by leaders who are attuned to and can engage the needs and interests and that empathy and collaboration is extremely important in acquiring and exercising power. However, ironically, some studies show that once people assume positions of power, they become more selfish, impulsive, and aggressive, which are all not helpful in influencing and attaining power.

Inspiration & Paradox 76: Know Less, Love More...

As I grow to understand life less and less,

I learn to love it more and more.

- Jules Renard

Inspiration & Paradox 75: False Self-esteem

Food for thoughts...

I was very much perplexed when told that the all-too-familiar American culture of promoting one’s self-esteem from young is now reaping its negative effects in terms of the nation’s rising depression rate. The Asian culture is often criticised for being too unforgiving and stingy with praises and that we have to look to the Westerners and learn to be gracious with our children, always telling them how much you love them, making them feel important and great, and even when they fail or make a mistake, assure them it’s okay, and tell them that they are always the best no matter what happens. We are reprimanded for not knowing how to celebrate and reward successes, for being too harsh with wrongdoings, and bringing up children who are not as confident, open, self-assured, and vocal as the Westerners...

Now, where are the “holes” in the Self-esteem Movement? I was explained that the self-esteem built in a culture of constant praises and rewards (... even for the smallest and most insignificant achievement) and unconditional acceptance of even the stupidest blunder does not allow oneself to learn about realistic assessment of one’s own abilities, strengths and weakness, and does not help in building a character of resilience and tenacity that would cushion the hard effects of failures, hardship, disappointments in the different seasons of life. After being told all the time that everything is alright and “I am the best”, it is obviously hard to come to terms with some very real imperfections in their life, their abilities as compared with others. People become confused and disoriented, and do not know how to face the realities and chart their next steps when they underachieve or make serious blunders in life. And when images of themselves and the world swirled into messy disarray, depression sets in...

"True self-esteem requires an accurate appraisal of one's own abilities in comparison to those of others...a phony self-esteem is vulnerable to puncture by life's experience."
Richard O'Connor

Inspiration & Paradox 74: Where's the Crowd?

When discussing about places, where to go and where not to go, you probably have heard something like this before:

“NOBODY GOES THERE ANYMORE, IT’S TOO CROWDED.”

What are we talking about?