The question of whether bosses should build friendship with their subordinates at the workplace somehow came up again in a family dinner conversation a couple of days ago. Perhaps, I like to talk about this subject because it's an area I really struggle with it and I want to learn how to better relate to my team members. As usual, I didn't get a clear answer to what was right or wrong, "it depends" seemed to be the perfect way to give the discussion a closure.
A typical reaction you will probably get when you touch on the subject is "this is ridiculous, impossible, silly...". In such a mindset, and especially in the Asian context (I think), developing friendship between superiors and subordinates is too idealistic; too naive. Allowing these people to become friends will only put the bosses at a disadvantage and cause them to lose their authority and rights as superiors. In this paradigm of thinking, friendship hampers productivity unnecessarily and makes bosses look incompetent. Moreover, when you start to choose who you want to be closer friends with, others might start pointing a finger at you for playing favouritism. So, if it's so tough to be your subordinates' friends and it exposes too much of your insecurity, don't try, just keep maintaining that professional distance and working relationship.
However, to the surprise of many people, a recent prestigious research found that fostering friendship between bosses and their employees does more good than harm. It promotes a warm, relaxed, and motivating work environment and improves the chances of achieving a more engaged workforce which in turn leads to a deeper commitment level at work, better productivity and success for the business. The study revealed that turning subordinates into your friends is a wise choice as it can reduce work stress and have a positive impact in the performance of the organisation. As I have always remarked about the highest ranking people in the organisation, "there is no need to show and exert authority, it's a fact that they already have it, and people know it". Perhaps, friendship and sincerity at work really can do greater wonders than fear and submission. But still, today many remain suspicious about this as it takes a great deal of courage to manage the tension between wanting to conduct work in a "business way" and in a "buddy way".
A typical reaction you will probably get when you touch on the subject is "this is ridiculous, impossible, silly...". In such a mindset, and especially in the Asian context (I think), developing friendship between superiors and subordinates is too idealistic; too naive. Allowing these people to become friends will only put the bosses at a disadvantage and cause them to lose their authority and rights as superiors. In this paradigm of thinking, friendship hampers productivity unnecessarily and makes bosses look incompetent. Moreover, when you start to choose who you want to be closer friends with, others might start pointing a finger at you for playing favouritism. So, if it's so tough to be your subordinates' friends and it exposes too much of your insecurity, don't try, just keep maintaining that professional distance and working relationship.
However, to the surprise of many people, a recent prestigious research found that fostering friendship between bosses and their employees does more good than harm. It promotes a warm, relaxed, and motivating work environment and improves the chances of achieving a more engaged workforce which in turn leads to a deeper commitment level at work, better productivity and success for the business. The study revealed that turning subordinates into your friends is a wise choice as it can reduce work stress and have a positive impact in the performance of the organisation. As I have always remarked about the highest ranking people in the organisation, "there is no need to show and exert authority, it's a fact that they already have it, and people know it". Perhaps, friendship and sincerity at work really can do greater wonders than fear and submission. But still, today many remain suspicious about this as it takes a great deal of courage to manage the tension between wanting to conduct work in a "business way" and in a "buddy way".
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