Many parents are quick to crucify Amy Chua. I believe her method of bringing up her daughters is not entirely garbage. At least for me, she has pointed to the relevance of authority and discipline. Well, I am not lauding that mums should turn into stuffed-animals arsonists or ego-shamers of their children when they fall short in their performance, and I feel she has over generalised Chinese Mums, but there were many plain truths in what she said. And I think she got into the spate of cacophonous attacks because those truths were just downright hard, old-fangled, and drab. But I think this is one of the best things she said "as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up."
Yet, the point of balancing the East and West approaches in raising young souls can be elusive. I have been trying to find it (respecting the kids' individuality and protecting their self-esteem on one hand and punishing and pushing them so that they achieve on the other) and at the same time wondering if in reality it exists at all...What worked for her and her daughters may not necessarily be the best for others, and can even be plain diaster for some. So, I must say, though she wrote with exceptional aplomb, to be agreeable with her view that "Chinese Mothers are Superior" is far from easy.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Paradox and Inspiration 135: Tiger or Wimp?
"I wish she wasn't so soft and indulgent. I wish she recognised that in some ways the school cafeteria is more intellectually demanding than the library."
David Brooks
Tiger Mum? Amy Chua's a Wimp
The Straits Times, Review and Forum 19 Jan 2011
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