Many parents, including my other half have spoken about how our new generation of youngsters have to be nurtured differently, how they should be generously showered with praises so as they would not grow up with a defeatist attitude and warped self-esteem, and how we should treat them as equals when relating to them, talk to them as if they are adults and we are all friends, and that we should be aware that they are a different generation that demand their teachers and seniors to earn their respect and adoration by first proving their credibility and worth.
Yes, I agree that sometimes we as Asian parents do not listen enough to our children, allowing them to express their views, showing appreciation of their opinions despite of our own negative experience we have with our own parents when we were young. But I am afraid that in our endeavour to perform better than the previous generation, we might have unconsciously thrown ourselves to the other extreme when raising our children. As much as we desire our children to grow up as highly self-assured, confident individuals, ask of ourselves if we have also at the same time allowed them to become too self-opinionated, ego-centric, and even too critical and arrogant in the way they perceive others. Are we indirectly encouraging them to be too quick in judging others from the start and demanding their authorities and teachers to first prove their worth before receiving any positive treatment? Are we really teaching our children the right thing? Why should we condone such behaviours and inclinations, just because they belong to a newer, more rebellious generation?
I want my children to be confident and articulate, but I also want to accentuate in them a positive, teachable spirit. As parents, we were called to be the parents of our children and not their friends. They must learn about the institution of authorities in their life and in this society, an awareness of others, and due polite respect for the authorities, the elderly, their seniors, teachers, bosses and parents, who all should be given the benefit of the doubt for the positions they are in. Yes, children should not be expected to blindly and willingly accept any kind of ill treatment and wrong teachings, but what I mean is start with the positive attitude, relate to teachers from the onset with a respectful attitude, recognising they have been given the responsibility to rule over them, rather than adopting a challenging, critical, nonchalant or even hostile disposition right from the beginning. How about unreasonable and incapable educators? Yes, they do exist unfortunately, but they will just have to worry for themselves as their standing and honour amongst their students, peers, and bosses will surely dissipate over time. When we over-indulge our children and bail them out too early from difficult situations, they cannot experience the hard truths about life for themselves and would never learn that the world just doesn't revolve around them.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
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