Inspiration & Parodox 67: Relationship becomes difficult when life becomes easy.

My brother-in-law was sharing about his parents who used to be very loving but now have a problem relating to each other. He said something very interesting: couples belonging to his parents’ generation were able to endure hardship together but don’t know how to enjoy life together, in Chinese, 可以共患难, 但不能同享福. He went on to explain why –in their younger days, when times were difficult, couples shared a common goal, they slogged hard to provide for the children and keep the family together; life was in a way very purposeful and meaningful. There was somewhat a sense of unity. However, when their children grew up and their finances improved significantly, they suddenly could not relate to each other anymore, and started to have frequent arguments and vent their frustration at each other. They appeared to have lost their sense of mission in life and began to drift apart from each other.

He also spoke about the importance of developing a network of friends and keep a social support group which will be there for us when we retire from our jobs. He related that people who are retiring from their high corporate posts often faced a crisis in their lives as all of a sudden they have nothing to do and became a “nobody” in this world. Many of these men are left with no one else except their wives to command and boss around. Hence, ironically, many relationships became very difficult and tense at a time when people are supposed to feel most carefree and relaxed.